today i catch myself. i read a message and i started smiling, a warm, old known smiling. i thought it was lost. on the one hand it feels so good, the warm feeling in my stomach but on the other hand my head was beating like ' are you kidding not again, no no no what are you doing you dumbass!' It finally feels good to meet someone, someone new. but im so scared, so afraid for something new. i dont know what to do, to do with these feelings and it feels that my heart and my head will starting a war against each other i am so damn confused
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